Healing – A work in progress.

With all that is happening in our world at this moment, I have been working hard on not letting it get to me, so I don’t become overwhelmed and depressed. It’s very difficult to live in a dichotomy where you KNOW things are wrong with our government (and globally too), yet you still need to eat and pay bills – so you continue to go to work and pay taxes and continue to do what you can. Meanwhile, more horrible things happen.

I’m not sure what to do, but I do know we need solutions and not just memes.  So… I’m trying to live my best life and to be positive. At least by adding positivity to the world, I feel like I’m helping… even if it’s miniscule.

I’ve also started some emotional therapy that has been very hard and exhausting… but obviously necessary. I’m still stuck in my past and I really need to live in ‘the now’ – but it is hard to try to re-wire my thought processes. It’s just hard to unlearn certain negative ways of dealing with people… and now I’m hyper-aware of them, and realizing I come from a negative point of view almost all the time. It’s going to take a little work, but I’m doing it.

I’m so thankful to have my quilting to keep me sane… quite literally. I really process a lot while sewing. Because it can be so meditative, I can ponder things deeply. Then all this shows itself in the actual quilt work. Right now I’m working on the Vishuddha Quilt and just finished the center New York Beauty block sections. It’s getting close to being done, but I can tell there is still something more I need to do with it. 

I’m also getting close to finishing the Kaleidoscope Quilt!! I’m so thrilled to have only 7 sections left! I think I might be able to finish within the next month – Squeeeee!!!! My design wall is fun to look at right now!

 

Will This Post?

I’m wondering if I will even post this.

I’ve been writing a post almost every other day for a while, but haven’t published any of them. They are all so depressing. I guess that’s what happens when you’re feeling blue.

Quite literally too – feeling blue. I’ve been working on my Vishuddha Quilt and it’s slowly (but beautifully) coming along. It’s such a slow process, but that’s what this quilt is asking for.

The Throat Chakra (Vishuddha) is the 5th major Chakra of the body and it is all about speaking out – speaking your truth. This is something I have difficulty with as I don’t really even know what my truth is.

I’m still in a healing phase, and feeling a little lost emotionally.  There are a lot of things coming up in counseling and in my body / energy work that are difficult to process. There are big hurdles. Even though it has been a long time since I’ve had any mental or emotional trauma, I guess I still carry quite a load.

I’m really ready to drop it all, heal, start fresh. My counselor asked if I hadn’t been raised the way I was, and money & health weren’t issues, what would I want to do with my life… what did I want to be when I was a kid before being brainwashed?  This question is extremely difficult, and I still have no answer.

Before I go off on another ‘feel sorry for me’ tangent, I’m stopping myself and am going to share pictures of the Vishuddha Quilt in progress instead! Then I’ll be able to publish a post this month!

A Whirlwind

My life has been a bit of a whirlwind recently – many things happening including work is starting to really pick up for the summer. This keeps my days full of customer service and design work.

I’m also working on writing a new quilt pattern for machine piecing! It’s going pretty well, even though I have not done a lot of writing or reading of other quilt patterns.  I will definitely need to test it before releasing it. If you feel like trying out a free pattern – let me know! I should have it ready to test in about 2 weeks.

Been working on my Kaleidoscope Quilt, but not as much as I would like. I would prefer to hand sew 2 hours every night to achieve my time goals for this quilt… but it’s turning out I might sew for maybe an hour every other night or so. It’s going to take a little longer than planned. All good!  I’m totally loving the process and having something to work on any time.

Here is a chunk of the round I’m currently working on:

kaleidoscopequilt

This hasn’t been ironed yet. Here is what the back looks like pre-ironing:

kaleidoscopequilt

The one question people ask all the time is: How do you iron these?
I press straight down from the top and manipulate the pieces as necessary.  Here is what the back looks like after pressing:kaleidoscopequilt

and the front looks like this:

kaleidoscopequilt

I just added it to the rest of the quilt that is hanging on my design wall:

kaleidoscopequilt

I have 8 of these HUGE 4th round chunks to make! Luckily only 3 of them are complete, the other 5 are partials as they hit the sides of the quilt.

I do have a pattern for this quilt. It took me about 2 months to lay it out and choose colors. Once I finish piecing this quilt top, and confirming my counts in the pattern, I’m going to set up a pattern for anyone else crazy enough to give it a try. I’v been keeping track of my time on this quilt too – right now I’m a little over 304 hours of actual stitching time in on this quilt!

keeping time

Right now I’m also working on the Vishuddha Quilt. I usually only do one project at a time, but the Kaleidoscope quilt is going to take time and I need some instant gratification… at least be able to piece a little faster than when I hand stitch.

I’m creating from my current stash so I’m limited in fabric choices. Because of that, I’m trying this crazy technique of sewing, cutting, and sewing again, etc. to get a well blended, almost sparkly look to my blocks:

vishuddhaQuiltvishuddhaQuilt

Of course, this is taking almost as long as hand stitching… I don’t know what I was thinking exactly!? I’m currently stuck on choosing the fabrics for the next portion of this quilt. It’s all about contrast, so I want to make sure whichever fabrics I choose will stand out against this first block. Wish me luck! 😉

Another part of my whirlwind this month was being able to see my little neice Lily! She came with her mom, who is my amazing SIL from NYC. We all had a great time visiting and checking out Portland, but the best was when these cousins got to spend time together – so sweet.

cousins cousins

I’m off to enjoy some sunshine – it’s gorgeous out today!

A Plan Formulation

Finally a plan for my Vishuddha Quilt is starting to come together in my head. I make things a little more difficult by trying to only use what fabrics I have on hand… but that also makes for a more interesting quilt!

The Throat Chakra (Vishuddha) is energetically based in the neck region and is connected to our power of communication. It also connects our physical attributes with our mental ones. When this chakra is blocked we can experience fear of conflict, inability to speak up or speak out when necessary, and more physically: neck, jaw, and shoulder pain – and thyroid problems.

So I’ve been envisioning the shape of the thyroid gland as a base design element. It’s often described as being the shape of a butterfly – and I’m also thinking of the pattern metal shavings make with a magnetic field.  I was having a hard time translating that look to a quilt pattern idea… but I think I got it! I’m going to try a New York Beauty Block – make it big and split it down the center.

One of the main symbols of this chakra are 16 petals. These petals represent each vowel in the Sanskrit language. Without those sacred letters, speech would be impossible. Instead of going super literal and making petal shapes, I’m going to make the NYBeauty block with 16 points.  I drafted my own pattern, and traced it onto newsprint:

The color associated with this chakra is blue – a more aqua blue to be exact. This is where I have to put a little time into planning so that the quilt will be balanced. My blue fabric selection is all over the place, but I really want to make it work without having to purchase anything new.
See what I mean:

This is all my blue – and none of the pieces are over 1/4 yard, many are scraps… I have to dig though my solid stash and see how much in white and blues I have to work with. I think with the right solids, you can make anything work!

I’m off to separate these into color/value order and see what’s there. Wish me luck!